I decided to do something a little different and create a video journal of some outdoor stuff I am working on. It was the sort of thing I wanted captured for my own historical record, and it was quicker to capture the stuff in video rather than trying to write out a blog post explaining it all.
https://youtu.be/wzbiD_ooCRQ
I know the blogging cycles. There are the dry spells, and the times of plentiful writing. Each comes in turn, and I don’t worry about it as I might have years ago. If for a time I write little, more words will come when they are ready—and not before. There are seasons in my writing. I have times when I write longer posts, and then times when the writing is short. There were periods in the past when my posts leaned more toward a style of daily journaling, then other times I mostly wrote thoughtful essays. The key to mature blogging is not worry about the change in seasons but to recognize when one is ending and another beginning. Trying to stay in your past writing is the surest way to choke out the writing you now have.
I realized I needed to remind myself of this.
Long form, thoughtful, serious writing is what I value most. And, sometimes, that is what I need to write. When my time with Grandma ended that kind of writing is what I needed. After what I saw and experience, I had no other words. Lightness and laughter felt like a mockery at that time.
So I went with the tide. I cleared the the blog, cleaned everything down to the barest bone, and wrote hard thoughts. It was good for me. The blog change itself said something, and it drew out things that needed saying. I am very glad I have written the thoughtful, sometimes beautiful, occasionally poignant posts that came in that time. That was the needed season of processing after a hard journey.
I will never be completely done processing that time any more than I am ever done processing life. But I sense I am moving on to a new season where that reflecting is no longer a preoccupation. Slowly, I find I am moving forward.
Hard times, and death, makes everything feel serious and provokes serious writing. Death is serious, and serious writing is good. But dwelling on that too long, obsessing on that, can make one forget that God invented laughter, too. There is time for somberness aplenty, but with the coming of spring (and perhaps the passing of enough months since those black times) I have begun to feel the stirring of lighter things.
Crafting thoughtful writing takes significant time, and mental energy. I like the results very much, but in the best of times that genre of writing limits my output. If I have other obligations taking priority on my writing energy (as I do now) I rarely have the wherewithal to sit down and write a thoughtful blog post in the evening. Thus at present such writing has come like a slow drip from a faucet. It isn’t that I have little to say, it is that I have only so much writing stamina in one day. When serious writing is all I hanker to create I reconcile myself to that slow output—and for a number of months that was all I wanted to write. But recently I’ve felt the urge to write lighter things, and savor the small (seemingly trivial) of life.
I hesitated because I have a lot of serious thoughts still in my head which I haven’t written down, and so anything lighter has been shoved aside because I must complete the important writing. Then I realized the desire to set aside the serious (just for a bit) is not something I should fight. There are seasons, and there is a balance. I shouldn’t box myself in.
It is time for some balance. I will never leave the serious writing, there will be plenty more of that. Anyone who knows me knows it is part of who I am. But dwelling only in somberness is like trying to keep myself in one season of my life. It is a time to move out of the deep shadows and walk in a place where shadow and light, serious and minor, each have a place. I could spend the rest of my life writing about suffering and death, but it is not wrong to stop sometimes and write about how funny the chickens were today.
It is time to give myself permission to let go, to look forward as much as back, outward as much as inward, and feel again a bit of the beauty that is found in living, breathing, and doing.
When the clock ticked over from Friday night to 12:01 AM Monday, my Pubslush crowd-funding campaign came to an end. If you were watching the website then you know the final numbers at Pubslush were 40 contributors, and a total of $4,820. However, if we are being completely precise an additional four people wanted to contribute off-line via physical check, which added an additional $280. So the real total, which wasn’t on Pubslush, was $5,100.
When I was first contemplating the idea of doing crowd funding I struggled to imagine ever raising $5,000, and here we are! It has been a journey of thankfulness and humbleness.
This has been a great success, but I set a goal of $13,000 which has lead some people to ask what I am going to do since I didn’t reach that amount. First, since I didn’t use the Kickstarter website (which has a policy of all or nothing funding), I keep the money I raised even thought it didn’t reach my ultimate goal. That $13,000 goal would have provided me with funds to effectively reach the most people possible, but $5,000 enables me to reach more people than if I had raised none. So $5,000 is a much more modest start than charging out the gate with $13,000 to fund my efforts, but that $5,000 will enable me to reach many more people than I otherwise would have been able so from that perspective it is a huge success. Coming short of $13,000 does put some limitations on me, but this is all anything but a failure!
Many of you reading this were contributors to the effort. I admit it was hard for me to feel like I had adequately expressed my thanks to everyone–even with the email thank you I sent, and the rewards sent and yet to be sent. So I am saying thank you again to everyone who got behind me and lent their support to this journey. Your vote of confidence means a lot.
I think the greatest tangible sign of thankfulness you could all receive would be to see the gratefulness on the faces of those who will be comforted and encouraged by my book. That will be the result of what you have all done in supporting me, and so that is what I want to give you all for joining in. Unfortunately, most of you won’t be there when people receive and read my book.
But perhaps you can imagine it.
As I write this there are thirteen hours left in the crowd funding campaign for my book. If you intended to take part, now is your last chance. If you haven’t check it out yet, why not do that now: https://pubslush.com/project/5270
Additionally, here is a video I shot with me reading an excerpt from the book.
I have a lot of learning to do in the art of making videos, and audio presentations. On the one hand it is fun (I like learning, particularly artistic things) but on the other hand it is frustrating and humiliating in measure. I learn from doing, and critiquing myself, and from the comments I get from other people. Hopefully I will continue to get better.
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Have you enjoyed my writing on this blog? Has my writing on the struggles of caregiving and Alzheimer’s touched you? Do you want my writing to reach more people, to help and encourage them? Perhaps this post has reminded you, as what I experience has reminded me, how much those facing Alzheimer’s need support and encouragement. I have written a book about my first experience with Alzheimer’s and I am currently running a crowd-funding campaign with a goal of reaching as many people facing Alzheimer’s as possible. Would you take just a moment to look at that campaign and consider offering your support? Thank you, I appreciate it.
So, long time readers, in case you haven’t figured it out, my book has been taking up a lot of my writing time. Finally, after a very long time, we are on to the next step. And so I bring you this. The cover is finished, the book is ready. Now I need your support. I’m looking for your help getting this book out to people facing Alzheimer’s. I want to bring them support and encouragement, but I can’t do it alone. If you are long time followers and know who I am and what I am doing, please consider supporting. Even just $10 would be a big help. For those who haven’t been long term followers, I’ll give it to you from the top.
When Rundy was twenty-four years old he began caring for his grandfather who was dying from Alzheimer’s. Grandfather and grandson took a three year journey together to Alzheimer’s end. This book is the story of that journey.
With compassion, hope, and a strong dose of gritty realism, The Sea is Wide tells the story of how the wide sea of Alzheimer’s was crossed. In writing that is by turns uplifting and poignant, Rundy shares his journey of perseverance and love.
Alzheimer’s is a scary disease. People who are facing Alzheimer’s, whether in themselves or in a loved one, face many fears and questions. This book will be an encouragement and support to those people. I am sharing my story to pull back the curtain and shine a light into the dark corners of the Alzheimer’s journey.
There are hard parts and sad parts in the long road of Alzheimer’s, but there is also a place for love and hope. This book is so that nobody has to face Alzheimer’s alone.
It has taken me several years to write and refine the manuscript. After multiple revisions and many edits, the story is now complete and ready for publication. I had a professional-quality cover designed and carefully polished with extensive feedback. The complete book package is ready to print.
This is a timely book. The number of people affected by Alzheimer’s is increasing rapidly. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, every 67 seconds someone in the United States develops Alzheimer’s and today it is the sixth leading cause of death. One in three seniors dies with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia. An estimated 5.2 million Americans of all ages had Alzheimer’s disease in 2013. By 2025, the number of people age 65 and older with Alzheimer’s disease is estimated to reach 7.1 million—a 40 percent increase from those currently affected. By 2050, Alzheimer’s disease may nearly triple. Nearly everyone will be touched by Alzheimer’s at some time in their life—whether it is grandparent, parent, relative, friend, neighbor, or coworker. We all need to better understand how to face this disease, and help others deal with it.
I am excited by the possibility of reaching those people. My experience with caregiving has convinced me that people need this story of hope, encouragement, and perseverance. I want to give people help and encouragement through this book. I want to go out and personally help them by sharing the lessons learned from my experience. But that is a big audience to reach, and I need your help.
How you can help:
(1) Spread the word. Tell your family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers about this book. The more people who hear about this book (and can tell others) the more people will be helped in their struggle with Alzheimer’s.
(2) Give a monetary donation to this campaign. It costs a significant amount of money to get a book published and to the people who need to discover it. Here’s a partial list of expenses:
Even a contribution of $10 can bring this book to people and revolutionize their approach to Alzheimer’s and caregiving. Together, we can bring a new perspective to Alzheimer’s.
Your generosity and support are greatly appreciated.
“It is a must-read for those taking care of loved ones suffering from Alzheimer’s and for those in the medical and nursing profession. I will definitely recommend this book to my patients and nursing students.” – Louise O’Keefe, PhD, CRNP.
“I highly recommend this book.” – Wilmer Estevez, RN
“An honest look at what daily care looks like through the eyes of a loving care-giver. I laughed, I cried, but most of all, I observed how it is possible to care for a loved one through the very bad days that are inevitable while also being grateful for every respite. […] I want to thank you for showing me that beyond all the heartache this can be a journey of love and dignity.” – Cynthia Phillips, Caregiver
“A real insight into the depth, love and reality of a caregiver and a victim of Alzheimer’s.” – Debbie Rombach, RN
“I laughed and cried my way through […] it echoed things I went through with my mother and her dementia.” – Alice Janick, Caregiver
“The Sea is Wide gives healthcare professionals an inside look at the struggles that families of those effected by Alzheimer’s face on a daily basis” – Nicole Wayman, LPN
I wrote The Sea is Wide to share my experience, and my grandfather’s experience, facing Alzheimer’s. My goal is to educate and encourage those facing Alzheimer’s, and provide them with hope and support.
Life inspired this book. In a sense, life wrote this book. What I experienced in three years of caring for my grandfather powerfully affected me and deeply changed me.
Also, I wrote a journal/blog while caring for my grandfather and that formed the rough base material for what would become The Sea is Wide.
The journey you face is hard, but it is not meaningless. Alzheimer’s can take many things from you (or your loved one) but it does not take away worth. Most importantly, Alzheimer’s cannot touch love. Love laughs in the face of Alzheimer’s because it knows in the end it cannot be destroyed or beaten.
And finally, you don’t have to take this journey alone.
The purpose of the funds we raise is to reach as many people as we can with my story–and so encourage and support as many people as possible. A big part of the funds will be used to print and ship the books, and then also for travel expenses to go to venues and speaking engagements to share my book, my experience, and my story.
To donate, please go here. Thank you so much!
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The time has arrived. After much work (big thanks to my talented brother Justin who designed the covers and many more) and much agonizing, I must now decide what cover will go with my book The Sea is Wide: A Memoir of Caregiving. It will be a tough choice. In the end I must weigh the pros and cons of each possible cover and make the final decision myself. But feedback can help that decision making process, so I’m here to ask you all for your thoughts. I have posted a selection of the five top covers. Take a look, give your vote, and maybe even leave a comment!
Thanks for participating!
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