Essays and Etcetera

I don’t engage in extravagant dental care. I floss and brush daily and avoid eating too many sweets–this is the extent of the thought I typically give to my dental hygiene. I have read that you are supposed to replace your toothbrush with some regularity–every six months or year, if I remember right. But I am a man of habits, which means that if I am happy with my toothbrush I am not inclined to replace it. This means I have retained the same toothbrush for several years.

I know, all of you out there who follow the rules and promptly replace your toothbrush every six months or year (whichever it is) are cringing in horror at my admission. But I don’t chew on my toothbrush, mash it, or otherwise destroy it, so it has held up for several years without any appreciable failure. Until recently. At last the bristles of my toothbrush were no longer in perfect order and I conceded I was probably due for a replacement.

With this in mind, I soon found myself in the dental aisle of a local grocery story, passing the multitude of mouthwash flavors to check out the collection of toothbrushes. And what a collection it was. The last time I picked myself a new toothbrush I was still living at home–which meant I picked through the more limited bathroom supply there. Here I had a whole row of toothbrushes to chose from. Toothbrushes, toothbrushes, everywhere. Who would have thought there would be such a variety of choice for such a simple thing?

Would I like medium or soft bristle? Would I like Regular 40 or Full 60? And what shape would I like my bristles? Would I like I nice flat cut, or perhaps a more exotic shape to the bristle surface? Standing in front of the row, my thought was, How the heck am I supposed to know? Just tell me which one is best, and I’ll take that.

If only I had seen my old toothbrush siting on a rack–familiarity, that wonderful friend!–everything would have been easy. But alas, that was not to be. Frozen with a bit of indecision, the best I could dredge up from my memory is that once I had a toothbrush with bristles that were too soft. And I knew for certain I didn’t want a toothbrush with bristles that were too hard. So it seemed like medium would be a good choice. One decision down. Now, regarding the matter of Regular 40 or Full 60, I had to think about that a bit before I decided they were talking about the number of bristles. After a bit more thinking I concluded that more bristles must do a better job cleaning so I opted for the Full 60. This left the question of exactly what shape I wanted my bristles in, of which there was a dizzying variety. After a bit of hesitation I decide that since my old toothbrush was of fairly simple design, I would get a new one of simple straight cut. So long as it isn’t too stiff and cleans my teeth I’ll be happy, I thought.

I had a surprise that night. Never had “medium” been so stiff. Never had “full” been so over full. The toothbrush was more than a little stiff–it was perfectly designed for taking the hide off the back of a pig. The bristles were in rigidity comparable to a wire brush (or so it seemed). Not only was the toothbrush less than ideal, it was totally unacceptable. The best I could hope to use that toothbrush for was power scrubbing the enamel off my teeth. For anything less I would have to look for a new toothbrush.

Apparently, choosing a toothbrush is a finer art than one would first imagine. So, a chastened man, I returned to the store the following week and bought a Soft Bristle Regular 40 with a little more tasteful cut to the bristles. This second attempt turned out to be a close approximation of my old toothbrush and so I was finally satisfied. But I am still marveling over my initial bad choice, and trying to imagine exactly what demographic it was manufactured for. A brush so sturdy, so very vigorous, is either meant for someone with teeth hard as diamonds, or there are some poor souls out there were are grinding their teeth down to nubs with a brush far stiffer than they really need.